Bored/Boring Consumer

I am an indifferent consumer of most products I use. If you’re not, don’t read this. I buy everyday goods because mostly, they are necessary for my survival and not because their advertisements have lured me into using them. Although, I have to admit that sometimes, I might have tried some of these products and repented later on. Example, ‘Sanju ki magic pencil’ from shaka-laka boom boom.

Take shampoos, in my lifetime of 20 years I have not yet found a shampoo that actually claims to do what it does. My hair don’t become all that shiny and silky and smooth or even soft after using ‘Sunsilk’ or ‘Dove’ for a month or a year or more. And if I am wrong’ I’d really like to meet the person whose hair it worked on. I hope you don’t exist.

Same goes with creams and balms and moisturizers. No, none of you expensive brands have worked, yet. Oh, and what about deodrants and the best, most expensive perfumes. Everyone would like to smell good, no? I don’t usually invest in perfumes. Every once in a while I would steal mumma’s perfume and drench myself with it, but why doesn’t it stay for more than 2-3 hours? I mean, my perfume goal is to become that stranger who walks past you and after 2-3 seconds you get this whiff of fragrance. So much so that you have to turn back and look at that person. And if such a person is in your metro compartment, you’re lucky, thank the gods because Metro compartments are all about the mixtures of sweat in varied proportions.
The point is, I am never that person. Apparently you are supposed to put perfume on 7 strategic points and it works like magic, but no, not for me. Maybe I am doing it wrong. If it has for you, good.

Not a very interesting case but a recent false advertising lawsuit case was filed against ‘Quaker Oats’ for claiming that 0% of a pesticide was used to grow the oat grains. Although it was within consumable limits, the problem was with the claim. The point is why can’t shampoos and all products that try to tell us that they work wonders, just tell us what they ACTUALLY do. Shampoo ads should go like this: ” Your hair get dirty, use this, will clean it out, you’ll feel nice until your hair dries out and becomes frizzy again. ”

Honestly, I don’t think these ads are driving up their sales anyway. How many times have you been genuinely impressed by such ads?
I could be wrong, definitely. But I buy a shampoo because I can’t wash my hair with soap, and mostly, I would prefer shampoo A to B, because A smells better and not because my hair texture changes within a fortnight.

Another product dear to me, Bournvita. I drink it and still sometimes do, because it tastes good to me. Doesn’t give me ‘ Tann ki shakti’ and ‘Mann ki shakti’.No.

One of the most laughable ad has to be ‘Funn Pencils’ claiming that you can get full marks AND have fun in the process, JUST because you use these. WHY.
I have used ‘Funn pencils’, but because the shopkeeper handed me the box and I don’t go into much detail while buying a box of pencils, seriously.

On a positive note though, I am a very happy consumer of electronics, like earphones, speakers, laptops, television and so on. Simply because, they do what they do. Not saying that electronic products haven’t had weird advertisement campaigns in the past. The most popular being Steve Job’s claim about the iPhone 4’S retina display being more powerful than the human eye. Wut.

I acknowledge that people work hard and brainstorm like mad for producing ad campaigns, but as a bored and indifferent consumer, either be honest or make ads like the one Camlin came out with wherein, the woman’s bindi, made with a Camlin marker, doesn’t come off just because Camlin markers are THAT permanent. At least we’d enjoy watching such ads, if not be convinced enough to buy the product.


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